LETS RISK IT !

Lets follow our dreams ....... of being what we know we are and would love to be.  

HERE'S a list of habits I'd like to adopt / abolish

1. To be done with procrastination (bad ones ; I still subscribe to let the laundry pile up and desk dishevell itself while the project gets submitted and the exams get over), we all know even with best of planning, something does crop up making those few saved minutes all precious.

2. Make a schedule, seriously I cant go on resetting my body clock every now and then till the springs just lose their elasticity. This one's sure tied upto the previous one tightly.

3. Finish what I begin unless I find it to be sheer waste of time and effort. Again it will help me unlock some time - energy to be devoted to the previous goals.

4. Now for the specifics :  Exercise daily for atleast 30 min in the morning itself.

5. Read atleast 1.5 hrs in morning , will do hell lot of good to my self esteem , ......a great way to begin each day on a high note.

6. Be more regular with my blogs

Lets just stop here. next ones surely: stop biting more than I can chew, and what better way to start on this one right off :D

A new beginning.....

lately hv been pondering a lot 'bout "is there really a cut-off liimit on when we can make a tansition or begin ?" And I don't mean it in the sense of starting your exercise routine or being punctual or something like this. Come on , verybody knows habits can be attempted to be changed a nytime you wish like. Im really talking about following your passions and making switches and for something which you know is not going to be that rewarding in monetary sense as well as socially (I mean hereby that you can't brag about it to your middle aged settled fellas).Guess I GAVE AWAY the reason for such ponderings. Having lived out my twenties and soon to hit thirties , I might not be that old by current scenario but it has now turned out to be a second adolescence to me. I wonder if there are people facing similar issues at this point as well ???  belonging to a quasi - conservative middle class family, and being a woman (yes, contrary to my beliefs , this needs to b specified in today's age as well) , I m expected to settle down (that means marriage of course but also that now Id be sticking to my profession in the least) and even I  thought I  would. But  a l'ttle bit of self exploration has opened a whole lot of awareness and I  have discovered a whole lot of new things I like to do and would love to indulge into, I  find myself raring to be less practical by convention. My perspective stands all changed. I  am just not ready to compromise. I  want to live out myself and much more. I  want to begin with trying to know where my passion lies and not just my area of expertise r skill. M willing to let go, be broke , begin from scratch and that also means beginning to acquire the skills needed to do out my passion. (Sigh!!!) Prudence dictates otherwise.So, it finally sums upto prudence versus passion, m still quizzical 'bout it. Is goin to do something I know is impractical but for the sheer joy of being able to do it is worth it ? like playin knowing you'll never become a professional, All you can do is make it your work, it'll never be your job :(

Some of the beautiful ophrah winfrey quotes I discovered today

• The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.(Totally love this one)
• Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity.
• The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.
• We are each responsible for our own life - no other person is or even can be (and how much do we realize this while cribbing about everything under the sun : do we have the guts to own it up)
• Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power
• With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.
• I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.(somewhere u have to give up something to get something - the choice of barter is yours)
• Every time you state what you want or believe, you're the first to hear it. It's a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don't put a ceiling on yourself.

She has pretty much summed it up ; her own stoic nd courageous persona herself.

Every statement flows into the thought of next. Beautiful imagery of self-actualisation.

human adaptability can make the queerest of things seem ordinary!!!

"Familiarity breeds contempt" has been the old adage I was aware of till now. Recently, I discovered that it can be other ways as well. What if the person you have known for long was a pain at the outset and circumstances ban any possibility of severing the ties. on the contrary you are condemned to meet the person everyday , for some situations might be even worse, you have to live with the person. Then what? You agonize over the association ? Most often than not what I have seen is that you do complain of it , slander out or confide in your friends but  finally you settle in the ignominy of the destined coexistence. All in all the chances are you start finding its not so much an irritant as you thought of in the beginning. You get used to the ways; that high pitched twang with pathetic diction becomes tolerable. The nuisance of creating a mess and being nosy just is a part of life. And there are always the gems of humane compassion you discover in another person as you go along (if evilness is also not the natural trait you have to come to terms with). Above all, viola , these are the changes in YOU and that , too, without your conscious effort and much to your own consternation despite yourself.
HATS OFF TO HUMAN ADAPTIBILITY!
As one of my teachers one told human will can make the sheerest of impossible things possible. I'd like to add a corollary - human adaptability can make the queerest of things seem ordinary !!!

After a long hiatus , I'm back. Thanks to a literary reviewer's comment cocooned within an equally remarkable article spun about Indian writer's in English fiction, "You have to regard your emotions so seriously to be able to put it forward to your audience as an offering". That's the nearest approximation I can put forward at this hour, exhausted as I have been from the day's turmoil. Finally, something inspiring to write again. As an epilogue he/she also mentioned something about starting to write about the mundane adding one's perspective - can't remember the exact phrase. Mind you, I'm no aspiring writer; its just that written word has been an allure since childhood. I am just someone who has always been drawn to the paper and ink or rather paper and print to be truer not been much into coterie of friends (they were far and few between - talking of those I really connected to and by some quirk of destiny there always seemed to creep in between the geographical distance). Also, it always seemed futile , a waste of time to devote here when it didn't correspond to my work arena, aspirations or dreams. However, any artform written or audio- visual is an end in itself. I believe its a catharsis basic to the very existence of the being. How else can one explain then the hungry urchin singing away at the road across my apartment, without even the expectancy of an audience? Why do people learn music, dance and maintain diaries even starting at an age past their prime in these pursuits - what's the utility, what's the purpose if not  a self - inclination to seek oneself in entirety; not split between the responsibilities and demands of your profession, relations and expectations. To aggravate the scenario i believe despite in full knowledge of the harmony required  between one's like and job, most often than not we end up choosing some thing which would be comfortable, available or satisfying to people around us. Even if we are lucky enough to pursue our choice of professions; the work/home atmosphere might not be conducive to pursue our other vocations as well ; a given that man has a multifaceted persona and he is likely to be interested in quite a few of them at different points of time. For now , I have begun my diary entries; a chronicle of what I feel now. hope to keep it going this time.

earlier I used to think I,ve done enough , lived enough. others didn,t agree. now I find the deficit and the rest see the surplus. thats probably what adding years to your age means.

as i climb the insurmountable three flight of stairs leading to my flat (yes ! they do seem insurmountable after a blase day with the thought of having a lonely dinner) i see her ascending one step at a time. i wonder whats there in her polybags (i thought they had been long banned in Delhi). some curd and gourd to make her husband's favourite raita? she once told me during a casual chat , i learned , especially on holidays.
and that makes me think what makes her tick even at 65 or is it 75 ? can't make up my mind , her face is all wrinkles and a smile. her hair honey colored from henna.
as i look at her , i search for that light she still sees at the journeys conclusion.
and i not even begun one has already started losing the faith , the hope to look ahead. mind you, im not dejected , not depressed. just that i look around and fail to see the wonders I always felt was right round the corner waiting to be discovered.
now it seems like the same morn even on a sufficiently satisfying day.
and these people who have been there, seen it all. had so many of there dreams thrashed , suffered the uncertainties of life and know that nothing out of the bolt ever happened still seem to lay some importance to cooking that favourite dish for a person as many times old as themselves. They still seem to find happiness in the frugal time their children spare them hardly conversing or hearing. even when they do , its talking , asking or just being there.
my grand parents whom ive seen at closer quarters add to the bane of my confusion. I know she had a single sari when she was married, when her womanly desires must have been most abundant. Not does it help to know that at the age I was being offered all the candies of my choice , she rummaged through rotten potatoes which came cheap, to cook the best of the worst for the family.
And still she finds life more alluring than me. she still finds pleasure in indulging once in a while in chaat - pakoras even if it gives her stomach ache and loose stools. She is ascetic enough not to need it. She wont have it all on her own but that wouldn't deter her from being an indulgent fun- loving granny for us to keep company in our pleasure pursuits.
I dont seem to mind the cataract which forbids me from seeing the bounty of life. I dont mind the melting away of my oh so healthy muscles. I dont seem to mind my atrophic tastebuds not just pertaining to gastronomics. I , who, has hardly had even a remotely hard life.
That doesn't mean I must go all bonkers for once.
but an admiration for that unfurling bud at the entrance wouldnt be bad for starters.